Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens Review (Spoiler Alert)

The Force Awakens Review

 

     Three years after the announcement of Disney's 4.3 billion dollar acquisition of Lucasfilm, on December 18, 2015, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens premiered. It immediately shattered all kinds of box office records, and has grossed over $300 million as of December 23. In five days. This is going to be a whopper. After so much speculation and ideas floating in the air, the enigma that everyone talked about materialized on a movie screen. All of the possibilities that were put out by years of speculation were decided by the movie being shown. There can no longer be any rumors of the content of The Force Awakens, because they're all there in the film. This blog, which has served as an outpost of news and speculation for Episode VII, has served its purpose. But there is still one thing left to do. It is time to see what I got right, what I got wrong, and review the movie.

     I saw it. It's the first Star Wars movie I've seen in theaters, and it is drastically different on a large screen. It was more stunning that way. The tickets for opening night were sold out almost immediately, and for the next several days as well. The lines stretched out into theater parking lots, and they weren't for tickets. The anticipation was enormous. So, now to the movie. Before we begin, let me just say, I am not a professional reviewer or critic. I don't really even know what movie reviews contain. I'll just summarize the plot and give my thoughts on what was in the film and what wasn't, what worked and what I thought didn't, etc. Be warned, there are major spoilers ahead.

    

The film begins without the usual 20th Century Fox fanfare, and that was jarring and slightly sad. However, it immediately launched into "A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away...." and then the standard opening crawl. The first sentence says it all : "Luke Skywalker has vanished." It goes on to explain how the FIRST ORDER (in all caps because we all love that classic Star Wars cheese) is trying to hunt him down and how Princess (Now General) Leia is trying to find him so he can help the Resistance, which I assume is the new Rebel Alliance. However, the movie also mentions the Republic, so I'm not sure how they're related. You would assume that the Empire collapsed, and that the Republic would take over, but somehow there's still a resistance. Anyway, after the fantastic title crawl, the action is directed toward the desert planet "totally not Tatooine" Jakku, where a bunch of First Order stormtroopers conduct a desert raid in order to capture plans. Max Von Sydow has a very short cameo. He gives Oscar Isaac's character Poe Dameron 

 

stolen plans before the main bad guy Kylo Ren 

shows up and slices him in half. Poe then gets captured, but not before putting the plans/map into a droid named BB-8, which escapes and wanders around on the desert planet. Sound familiar? So this new villain Kylo Ren seems like a Darth Vader cultist, because he dresses the same, has a red lightsaber, has a voice-changing mask, and does Force things for evil. He freezes a laser bolt in midair, and that's cool. During this night raid, a ton of Stormtroopers descend on a village and they kill everybody. However, one Stormtrooper refuses to slaughter the populace after Ren orders it. It was pretty evident that this was John Boyega's Finn (originally FN-2187)

, who, judging from the trailers, was a defecting Stormtrooper. He goes back onto a Star Destroyer, where Poe Dameron is captured and tortured, and breaks him out. The two do an awesome space battle with a stolen TIE fighter, and they become BFFs within four minutes. However, the fun is cut short when the fighter crash lands on Jakku. Finn finds the wreckage of the fighter in the desert, realizes that Poe is dead, and heads toward an outpost town. There he meets Rey

, who collects junk from fallen Imperial walkers and other vehicles. BB-8 wanders into her due to the plot requiring it, and there she meets Finn. There the First Order attacks them and they are forced to escape aboard the Millennium Falcon, due to the plot requiring it. They escape to space, but are quickly captured. And then, surprise, surprise, Han Solo and Chewbacca burst onto the scene. 

 

Then they are all caught in a humorous confrontation with smugglers, and of course some rathgars get loose. What are rathgars? Don't question it; it's Star Wars. So after the monsters kill the smugglers, Han, Chewbacca, Finn, Rey, and BB-8 escape aboard the Millennium Falcon, and go to a Resistance stronghold planet. Han unsuccessfully offers Rey a crew position aboard the Falcon. Onward, to the There they meet CGI Lupita Nyong'o, an old, wise alien whose name eludes me. She also has this weird thing for Chewie, which both made me curious and repulsed. So Finn, trying to escape the First Order, splits up with Rey and tries to get a flight to the Outer Rim. This sounds familiar. Rey then stumbles into a basement and DIRECTLY INTO LUKE SKYWALKER'S OLD LIGHTSABER, has a vision, passes out, yadda yadda she's a Jedi. Then there's a third Death Star (golly gee) and it kills five planets at the same time. The First Order invades the Resistance stronghold, Kylo Ren captures Rey, also Poe is somehow alive and is killing Stormtroopers in a sick X-Wing. I just realized this is basically a blow by blow of the film, not really a review. I'll speed it up. So Rey is interrogated, and we learn that Kylo Ren is less of a Darth Vader character and more of a jerk who tries to emulate him. So the Resistance, with the main characters and Leia (yeah, of course Carrie Fisher's in this movie) plot to blow up the third Death Star (it's not called that, but that's what it is). Han, Finn and Chewie sneak onto the Death Star in order to do the thing that helps destabilize the combobluator compressor boom thing. At the same time, Rey escapes from interrogation. Han sees his son, Ben Solo, who is now Kylo Ren. He goes out and pleads with him to come back to his family. Kylo Ren responds by SHOVING HIS LIGHTSABER STRAIGHT INTO HAN SOLO, 
AND WATCHING AS HE FALLS INTO THE ABYSS. I FRICKIN HATE THIS GUY. LOOK, I KNOW HARRISON FORD HATED STAR WARS, AND THAT I PREDICTED THIS HAPPENING, IT STILL SUCKED. So Chewie goes ape, shoots the bastard, blows up the stuff, and runs off. Rey and Finn escape into the forest on the planet the weapon is built into, searching for the Falcon, but looks who shows up. Giant A-hole With a Lightsaber wants to fight. Finn pulls out Luke's lightsaber and is almost immediately sliced and diced. Rey has a fight, vanquishes Ren, and escapes aboard the Falcon with an unconscious Boyega and Chewbacca. Then the Sun Crusher or whatever blows up into a star and Rey meets Mark Hamill, who stands around like a tool for about thirty seconds before the credits roll. So that's Star Wars. I have some opinions on that. For verification, I was correct in assuming that Han Solo would die. Surprisingly, Making Star Wars was pretty accurate in its leak, although not completely. I saw some of J.J. Abrams' characteristic lens flare in the beginning, but it was way more toned down than in Star Trek. I found it odd that Max Von Sydow was in this movie, given that he dies five minutes into it. I really loved how new worlds were introduced in the Star Wars universe, with the exception of Jakku, which was a Tatooine ripoff in every way, minus Sand People and the like. Rey was a god. Seemingly omnipotent, really, using the Force with zero training. Chewbacca seemed waxed. Carrie Fisher has definitely not acted for a while. Mark Hamill is awkward. I can summarize the plot very briefly. The bad guys want some information that is contained inside a droid, which wanders around on a desert planet before finding a budding Jedi-to-be. The Jedi leaves to help the revolting faction, the main character meets some people in a bar who can provide transportation, the bad guys' space weapon destroys a planet, Han Solo and Chewie run around said space weapon shooting Stormtroopers, an important character is sacrificed by the main red-lightsaber masked baddie. The heroes blow up the space weapon, with Leia overseeing the operation,  and Luke Skywalker is useless until the very end. This was my main beef with this film, it was very similar to the first Star Wars movie. It had a ton of elements from Empire, and it used many, many references. Thankfully, they were regulated. I really enjoyed this movie, because it kept a ton of the elements of Star Wars and used them in new ways that we haven't seen before. J.J. Abrams did a fine job directing, and the actors were perfect for their roles. Captain Phasma doesn't do anything. Domhall Gleeson doesn't do much. I wish there was more Poe. Mark Hamill did actually nothing. Harrison Ford stopped being able to do stuff two-thirds of the way through the film. In conclusion, the epic three years of anticipation did not end in disappointment. The film balanced between old and new remarkably well. It was not a nostalgia fest; it was a Star Wars sequel. Rian Johnson really has his work cut out for him. See you on May 26, 2017. 
I have some small questions left:
- Why is C3POs arm red?
- Why was Captain Phasma in this movie?
- Why doesn't the Empire learn from its mistakes?
- Is Supreme Leader Snoke really fifty feet tall?
- How on Jakku did someone manage to find Luke Skywalker's lightsaber after it was thrown down Cloud City's reactor and into the atmosphere of a gas giant? And if they found the lightsaber, do you suppose they found Luke's hand? If they found Luke's hand, can they clone him oohhh cewl
- In the film, the Republic and the Resistance are separate entities, but both are fighting the First Order. This is weird.
- Where the rathgar did Ren get the burned-out Darth Vader mask? If that method involved destroying the forest moon of Endor and all of the Ewoks, I approve.
- WHY DID YOU KILL HAN SOLO?!?!?!?121111/1/!?

     This is the end. I'll miss the speculation, but Star Wars news marches on.

     Even without Han Solo.

Star Wars Episode VII News: Week 51

Star Wars: The Force Awakens Official Teaser #2

IT'S OUT! It's finally out. The second trailer for The Force Awakens has finally dropped and it looks fantastic. Time for a step by step analysis.

     The Lucasfilm logo appears onscreen, with familiar music playing in the background, straight from Return of the Jedi. That's great news. It's hearkening back to the original trilogy. Then again, the first trailer for The Phantom Menace also featured that music. The scene fades in, and it pretty much starts the exact same way the first trailer began, with a desert pan, but there's a crashed Star Destroyer and then Mark Hamill narrates and everyone watching freezes, because Luke Skywalker hasn't spoken in 36 years. He says, "The Force is strong in my family" while a pan reveals the ruined helmet of Darth Vader on a pedestal with his breathing in the background. So Luke puts his robotic hand on R2D2 and cops a feel, but Artoo just looks at him and takes it in stride because that's just classic Luke. Then Luke's lightsaber that was in Star Wars is handed to someone, presumably Leia. That's pretty weird, considering Luke lost it along with his hand in TESB when it fell into a gas giant. So anyway, he says something about how his father, himself, and Leia all have the Force, and then he says "You have it too" and he's obviously talking to one of the new cast members, probably Daisy Ridley. Then THIS CHRISTMAS flashes on the screen with that music still playing, X-Wings on a lake, montage of lightsabers and explosions, and a bad guy, clone troopers(?) and space battles, weird, shiny stormtrooper suit, more explosion, and the main actors can't seem to close their mouths. The Millennium Falcon is being chased by a TIE fighter through a wrecked Star Destroyer. Then, fade in to Han Solo and Chewbacca. The dialogue is like this:

"Chewie, we're home."

"UHHHHHSDFSDHTJYUTYDHBGF"

And cut to title. Show's over.

     The shock is setting in. There's a new Star Wars movie that is coming to theaters. That never really fully registered with me until now. I've now seen the original cast in a Star Wars movie, and now it's sinking in. It's real. Luke will be in the movie, contrary to some rumors, and wait a minute WHERE IS C3PO? THIS IS AN O
UTRAGE!!!!!!111!!111123rffgrhtygsf

Star Wars Episode VII News: Week 50

Star Wars: Episode VII-The Force Awakens (Teaser Trailer HD #2)

      

     After almost five months of no official clips from The Force Awakens, we finally have an amazing premier. The trailer has been long in coming, owing to J.J. Abrams' secretive ways, but now I can say that the wait has been worth it. Although, this caught most everyone off guard. The trailer, according to Collider, wasn't supposed to come out for another month, with the premier of Age of Ultron. That would be obvious, and Abrams wasn't obvious last time, posting the first trailer in late November, not attached to any film. The tantalizing 88 second teaser consisted of only eight shots, but it drove the Star Wars frenzy into overdrive. This trailer is a whopping TWO MINUTES and some odd seconds long. Of course, it has much more detail. I don't really want to spoil the details of this, but the original cast makes an appearance, we get to know some of the newer characters, and also the plan of the remnants of the Empire. I love the reveal shot at the end that gets the audience excited. The only thing I would change is to add a bit more dialogue to make it a little clearer as to what the plot was. But I get it. It's a trailer. It did what good trailers should do. It gave us just enough to want the meal. I'm glad Abrams was minimal on the details. It spices it up. I wonder how much J.J. fought the company execs at Disney to release the trailer this way. With 261 days left until the release date of The Force Awakens, this makes me even more eager for the film. Of course, this raises a serious question: will this trailer build up fans so much that the film cannot hope to meet their expectation? It could very well be a horrible flop. But that is extremely doubtful, with all of the money and effort gone into making this. I'm just glad that's the question we're asking instead of, "Is the movie bad? Or is it just the trailer? Fans will find out soon enough.

Star Wars: Episode VII-The Force Awakens (Teaser Trailer HD #2)

April Fool's :)

Star Wars Episode VII News: Week 49

The Role of Luke Skywalker

     This week, most of the news concerned the The Force Awakens sequel, Episode VIII, but this news may have more weight than the others. In an interview with Movie Fone, he was asked about what if was like to be in an X-Wing, whether or not he watched Star Wars as a kid, you know, the usual stuff. After talking about J.J. Abrams, Isaac was asked, "And your next director isn't too shabby either. Are you excited to work with Rian (meaning Rian Johnson, the director of Episode VIII.)?" To which Isaac replied, "Yes. Very excited." When he was asked whether he talked to Rian Johnson or not, he said, "No, not yet." So this means two important things for Oscar Isaac's character. Number one, Poe Dameron survives the The Force Awakens. Number two, he want to be in the sequel. This slip up is grave. Some tension in the movie just flew out the window. However, he was later asked by Slashfilm about his quote, he said, "Ah, I couldn’t speak to that. I don’t even know. I think generally…watching the trailer was my only confirmation that I even was going to be in this one so I have no idea. I know that people thought I was saying I was going to be in the next one which is not true. I was asked if I was excited to work with Rian Johnson. I mean of course I would. I’d be excited to work with him. I have no confirmation whether I will or not or anything like that."So that confirms yet another thing; he has a very small role. If you don't know whether or not you're in a movie until you see the trailer, chances are, you're not a very important character. But why would he be casted as one of the big newcomers? Because to kill off a newcomer in the first movie is ludicrous. Except for during The Phantom Menace. But that's not a very good example.

     Another question floating around the plot of The Force Awakens involves the enrollment of Luke Skywalker in these films. There have been rumors of him killing Han Solo, or of him being evil, or of him dying, but according to Making Star Wars, he has a much smaller role.

     After the characters lose Han Solo, they get into the Millennium Falcon and fly off. Rey (played by Daisy Ridley) directs it to a new planet we haven't seen before. She walks up some stone steps, and hands someone his lightsaber. It's Luke Skywalker. Bam, roll credits. The end.

     If this ending were true, it would be incredibly frustrating. Luke Skywalker was cast in a movie, and has no lines, scenes, or anything but accepting a lightsaber from a new character? And Han Solo is sacrificed for that? I've heard of rumors that The Force Awakens would involve the protagonists finding Luke's lightsaber, but I didn't think that Luke himself would not appear in the actual film. If this rumor is true (and Making Star Wars' rumor track record doesn't look very good), then it will disappoint so many fans, that in Episode VIII, Disney will have to do some serious backpedalling. Killing off Han Solo was bad enough, but not featuring Luke Skywalker AT ALL during almost the entire movie? That's unforgivable.

Star Wars Episode VII News: Week 48

J.J. Abrams to Direct Episode IX?

     Spoiler rumors get old after a while, and after several weeks, there is no longer any shock value to be had. That's why I will ignore this weeks "ANOTHER major character dies!" rumors, because they are all circumstantial, regardless if they're true or not. But that doesn't mean nothing happened these past few weeks on the Star Wars front.

     First, Disney announced a 20 new books to be released this fall, directly before the release of The Force Awakens. These books go into detail about what happened after the Battle of Endor. The first book, titled Aftermath, will pick up after the fall of the Empire. No wonder all of the EU was scrapped. It would be interesting to see how it would differ from the EU, but also the similarities between the two. It's more money in the bank. Milk that $4.5 billion dollars for all it's worth! Merchandising! If Disney wants to appease EU fans, the books they release should rival the quality of the Thrawn trilogy and other Expanded Universe classics.  If the Disney books flop, it might have a negative impact on the enthusiasm for the film to devoted fans. But would it affect ticket sales? It would depend on how bad the books are. But who reads, right?

     We know that Rian Johnson is directing Episode VIII, and its release date is May 26, 2017, almost exactly 40 years after Star Wars was released, off by one day. The first spinoff, Rogue One, scheduled for December 2016, is directed by Gareth Edwards. But the sequel to The Force Awakens doesn't have a director named. granted, it's over four years away from release, but surely one must be chosen. There were rumors that Abrams would kick off the series, but then Rian Johnson would take the helm for the next two movies. However, Latino Review reported that there were some rumors that confirmed that the Disney team watched some footage from The Force Awakens, and that they were very pleased, and are considering Abrams for the role of the director in the ninth installment (not counting the spinoffs). Now this sounds very convincing, but remember that tensions remain between Abrams and Disney, who have numerous creative differences. Abrams himself said that his job was extremely stressful an that he was under a lot of pressure. Even if Disney did want Abrams to direct Episode IX, would he accept? Will J.J. Abrams rise to direct two Star Wars movies? It depends on the response to The Force Awakens And that remains to be seen.

Star Wars Episode VII News: Week 47

Harrison Ford Crashes Plane

     Yesterday, at about 4:30 P.M. Pacific Time, Harrison Ford radioed the Santa Monica airport traffic control tower, after taking off in a vintage, WWII era airplane. He requested immediate return and was given permission to land. Shortly after that, he lost altitude, clipped a tree, and crashed into the eighth tee of a golf course. He was pulled out of the plane, and early reports say he has deep gashes on his head, and may have broken an ankle. Later, it was confirmed that he had suffered "moderate injuries", but it was not specified what kind of injuries. His son said that he was "battered, but ok". Ford was praised by a witness of the crash, who noted that if the plane had gone down just thirty yards ahead, it would have plowed into the suburbs. It is unknown whether or not Ford chose to bring it down over the sparsely occupied golf course or if he just lost control. His injuries are not life threatening, and he should make a recovery.

     Why am I mentioning this? First of all, it's concerning. An actor was injured and could have possibly been killed. But I also mention it because this incident occurred just 9 months after Harrison Ford was injured on the set of The Force Awakens. This incident could change how the production team at Disney views the original cast, if they haven't done so already. Disregarding rumors that Han Solo dies for now, we could assume incidents like these have set off warning lights at Disney, as they realize that the actors can't be milked for a dozen sequels. Another event that could lead Disney to reconsider the role of the original actors in the trilogy is the death of Leonard Nimoy last week. He won't be in the third Star Trek. Disney, if it hasn't done so already, may either significantly lessen the roles of the original actors, or kill them off. Now, this assumes that that hasn't already happened, which I suspect it has. But if it doesn't occur in The Force Awakens, it It might occur in one of the sequels. Now, I am definitely not stating that one of the actors will die before filming of the trilogy ends. I'm just saying this incident may change the game as far as Disney is concerned. It might be too late in the game for Episode VIII, but by Episode IX you can bet that at least one main original trilogy actor will be getting the axe, and we all know who it will be.

Star Wars Episode VII News: Week 46

J.J. Abrams: Some Rumors Are True

     With only 295 days until The Force Awakens comes crashing down on Hollywood and outgrosses Fifty Shades of Grey (and every other movie) by about fifty times, the trickle of news of the first few years of production has given way to a steady stream. As more and more of the mainstream media picks up this topic, it will draw increasing amounts of people who are hungry for a particular thing: spoilers. They've received plenty in the past few months. But none of it has been sanctioned by any of the companies involved, making them easy to write off. But according to J.J. Abrams himself, you can't write all of them off.

     In an  interview with BBC, Abrams said, "We did the best we can to preserve the story for the audience, but it doesn't always work. "There are a ton of rumors - some true, some false. But I'm grateful for everyone who would want to read a spoiler because it means that they care and want to see the movie. I know what it feels like, as an enormous Star Wars fan myself."

     Whoa, hold up. What happened to J.J. Abrams massive amounts of secrecy in the production of this project? He strives harder than most directors to keep almost every aspect of the film secret (perhaps that's why Disney chose him). Why would he give credence to ANY rumors regarding The Force Awakens? What is he thinking?

     Well, it could be an honest mistake. The pressure must've gotten to him. He probably deals with hundreds of questions from fans and reporters, and he let it slip out accidentally. He cracked. That must be it.

     A reason why that explanation doesn't make sense is because he didn't tell which rumor was true. He's teasing his fans. Of course, he probably expected them to draw battle lines, and let them argue about which rumors are true and which ones aren't. And his ploy worked. Some people believe that he was referring to the Han Solo death story, and others believe he was talking about the "evil Luke" scenario. Nothing has been accomplished.

     Has The Force Awakens reached a tipping point? That's the point at which the film has gained so much attention by the mainstream media as the release date approaches that major spoilers are inevitable. If this is the case for The Force Awakens, with still almost a year before its release, then J.J. Abrams must seriously be considering an earlier release.  If it's not released earlier, then possibly a massive set of leaks could ruin the entire plot before anyone steps foot inside a theater to watch it. Those seem to be the only two options, with the trickle of information turning into a flood. Will the film stay to its original release, and possibly be ruined, or will it move earlier? Which sounds more reasonable?